On Downtown Greensboro's Curfew

People keep sending me material, and lately (since despite what Dr. Sue Polinsky thinks, I do have a very full/busy life) I'm kinda back-logged on posts.  But something in my Inbox this morning . . . on downtown Greensboro's new curfew . . . sent with the author's tongue firmly-in-cheek . . . was priceless.  And I'm going to share it almost word for word.

Now, as a lowly Asheboro local (unworthy of inclusion in blog aggregators like the most hallowed We101 . . . I really hope Google is watching what local-champion-of-free-speech & cyber-stalkers, Roch Smith, Jr., does . . . as opposed to what he says), in order to fully appreciate this deliciously snarky commentary, you have to take it in context of this past Tuesday's Asheboro City Council meeting, covered by the Courier's Mary Anderson (I'd link it, but really, here in the new Southern Woebgon, what would be the point?). 

The main topic of conversation was establishing Asheboro's "brand" . . . as part of the first baby steps towards our "dying" town's economic recovery.

As we all know, according to the leaders who inflicted the wounds that put Asheboro on life support, the first step was bringing alcohol to every street corner in Mayberry (in other words, Asheboro once had a very unique, "family-friendly" brand, but we killed it). 

I have a post in the works on that Council meeting, but like I said, I'm running a little behind. 

Anyway, here's what was in my Inbox this morning:

The Greensboro City Council has taken steps to insure the safety and well being of all those who enjoy swilling alcoholic beverages, and gyrating to loud music during the late night hours inside various establishments located in the downtown area off of Elm Street.

(On a side note, I personally enjoy looking at the pics from YES Weekly and Rhino Times of all the scantily clad, nubile young women that frequent such places, and have often hoped to be able to attend such a place in person, but fear that these little muffins don't pop out until long past the time I've dozed off.)

So, what our supreme leaders have done is ban those younger than 18 years from the vicinity after 11:00 PM . . . impose a $5 parking fee in city parking decks . . . and bar loitering within 50 feet of businesses that serve firewater.

Oh, and more surveillance cameras are to be added.

Now, what actually happened to prompt all this was . . . the shooting that took place was done by an over-21 male, who could legally drink and own firearms, and who was involved in some unpleasantness which began INSIDE the N Club, and spilled into the street.  The second incident with another over 21 male, and thank goodness this one didn't come to the actual discharging of firearms, resulted from a disagreement INSIDE a club, and in which the alleged pistolero had his feelings hurt, and went to his automobile in a nearby parking lot and retrieved his firearm.

I feel safer already.

Oh, and did I mention that the cameras that were supposed to have been in use and to have recorded the shooting incident . . . were of no use to the constabulary?

Maybe allowing a lot of people with low IQ's the opportunity to imbibe in a relatively compact urban area has something to do with it?  Throw in human emotion, and reduced inhibition, add testosterone, with a dash of estrogen, soak in alcohol, and Presto !!!!

And people wonder why I seldom go downtown . . .

Oh, and do you suppose the civic leaders here, and the ones in Asheboro, are . . . sorta . . . like . . . maybe kin to each other?

I don't know about kin (as those progressive & enlightened Greensboro types tend to sneer and spit at anyone with Randolph County DNA) . . . but they're probably using the same hallucinogens;)